Can’t Get Rich

So, I got my economic stimulus check yesterday. While my fellow countrymen will no doubt spend their checks on safe investments, such as lottery tickets and Louis Vuitton handbags, it’s up to us crazy Internet people to take bold risks and waste our money on frivolous things. Here’s a quick list of what your $300 will get you online (if you’re one of those people who got $600, just multiply by two. You can do that, right?):

30 domain names from Google

Buy some decent domain names, setup some autoblogs/real blogs/ebay niche stores/whatever. Avoid-excessive-amounts-of-dashes and try to come up with something that’ll be popular in 3-6 months.

3,000 clicks from SocialMedia

Expected return on investment: $1-$2.

450ish clicks on Facebook

Expected return on investment: $10-$20

15 guaranteed reviews from me

Buy them for your friends and family.

3 copies of BANS or 6 copies of PHPBay Pro

I don’t know why you’d want multiple copies, but you can use them to start building an ebay niche store empire.

A few ebooks

I guarantee that with this method, you’ll be making over $300 A MINUTE. Absolutely ZERO experience required and it only takes minutes 37 seconds to learn! Just send $97.95 to my paypal account to get started!

A few sites submitted to hundreds of PR3+ directories

Sometimes, it can be worth it to pay someone to do manual directory submissions for you. I use this guy from Wickedfire to do mine for me. At $35 for 400 directories, you can have him do 8 sites and still have money left over for a lot of Jones soda.

5 custom landing pages

This guy makes them. They’re gorgeous.

Ok, enough plugs. Take a look on Wickedfire’s buy/sell/trade board, and you’ll see tons of services ranging from stumbleupon submissions to article writing services. Use your $300 wisely and invest in your online future.

A note for confused non-US residents: I’m talking about this.

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