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I can't get rich online and neither can you. Topics include why you won't get rich with your blog, ideas you wish you had thought of, and other Internet phenomena.

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You want to get rich with your blog? Maybe you think Adsense will let you retire? Sorry, it's not going to happen.

Archive: Bloggers

Blogging for Dollars: Smorty

Ever since my blog went from PR0 to PR2, I’ve been getting emails from Smorty (a service that I’d completely forgotten about). Apparently I’d signed up a few weeks ago after hearing about them from another young blogger (whose site has since been taken offline). Anyway, they’ve been sending me offers for paid review posts. For the kingly sum of $6 per post (which is apparently the going rate for a post from a PR2), I’m expected to write 150-200 words about a variety of useless services that I really don’t care about. I’ve actually been giving it some thought.

Blog Advertising - Get Paid to Blog

So yeah, Smorty. You write a post, they give you money. The higher your pagerank, the more money you get. Does anybody else see a problem with this business model (at least for the writer)? Google has recently been reducing pageranks across the board for doing paid reviews. So basically, if I start doing paid reviews for these guys, my PR will never go higher than a 4, and could possibly drop back down to 0. Let’s just look at this rather cyclical process:

  1. Page rank goes up, so payment-per-review goes up
  2. Writer accepts payment for post
  3. Googleslap
  4. Pagerank goes down, reducing payment-per-post
  5. Time passes without paid reviews, go back to step 1

In addition to the inevitable pagerank death, Smorty’s giving me another reason to not want to go through with this: The services they’re asking me to review are boring. Cash advance services? Shopping cart software? I really don’t care about those subjects, and my posts about them would most likely be laden with sarcasm and scorn. Smorty’s site states that reviews don’t have to be positive, so I guess that’s not such a bad thing. I guess all they’re looking for are backlinks.

Should I even bother? I mean, I’m really not looking to monetize this blog just yet, but they’re practically throwing wads of $1 bills in my face (which isn’t much, but it would cover my monthly gasoline bills). I don’t want to scare off any readers, though, and I certainly don’t want to turn this blog into a big pile of paid reviews. If I do decide to do a few, it won’t be any more than ten times per month, and the paid posts won’t replace my daily posts. Let me know what you think.

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Stalling out on ReviewU

I have got a lot of blogs in my ReviewU queue. Blogs like Tetsujin’s Blog, Lazy Man and Money, and Career Club. Blogs that are causing me to stall and crash. Are you wondering why these blogs are giving me such a hard time? It’s because I can’t find anything nasty to say about them.

If you haven’t noticed by now, my blog entries are fueled by cynicism and spite. If I think something is stupid, I can go on for hundreds of words, tearing it to shreds. Is the content worthless? Great! Does the theme suck? Wonderful! That’s all fuel for my creative fire. If I can’t be cruel and sarcastic, I just can’t write.

I mean, just look at these blogs. Tetsujin’s blog has a great color scheme. Lazy Man and Money makes great use of its space. Career Club looks very professional, not to mention useful for its target audience. How am I supposed to be hateful with layout like these? Even worse, they have good, original content. They’re not ripping off John Chow, they’re not rehashing crap that they found on Digital Point, they’re actually writing down their own unique thoughts. How can I complain about that? You might even learn a few things by reading these blogs. Useful content…man, what’s the Internet coming to?

Give me a poor, struggling blog that needs guidance! Give me something that I can tear down and rebuild! Give me a blog that doesn’t already have nearly 2000 RSS readers (Lazy Man). How can I say anything bad about that? This guy is much more successful than me, and the other two have great potential.

These sites are fine. I’d even go so far to say that they’re great examples of what blogs should be like. The ads are un-intrusive, the content is fresh, and I just can’t think of anything nasty to say. I’m sorry, loyal readers, I’ve let you all down. I’m going to spend all of today recharging my sarcasm batteries, so hopefully tomorrow I’ll be back to my cruel, misanthropic self.

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You Can’t Get Rich If You’re Not Unique

Heya guys. Filling in for Geoff cos he’s sick lazy. I’m Jason from over at TheUniversityKid.com and will be sharing my (not-so) pleasant views with you all.

There are millions of blogs out there… a good deal of them are involved in the niche that nearly everyone using a computer is interested in – making money online. Now, common logic states that with a ton of blogs, and not a ton of readers, some of them are going to be pretty neglected – and yours will stay that way unless you’re unique.

Although Geoff and I both have similar sarcastic writing styles, the viewpoints of our blogs are pretty different – my push is that of a lazy arsed university student, while his push is of someone that… can’t get rich. When writing a blog, you have got to let your personality show – if you don’t, you’re getting fook all readers.

There are too many make money online blogs that a) have their own views, but are poor in expressing them or worse b) copy the views of the ‘big name’ blogs and are still poor in expressing them. For example, yesterday I came across two websites – JohnyCow.com and NotJohnChow.com. What the f**k!

Now, whilst JohnCow.com originally started out as a parody, these days it has nothing to do with its correctly spelled senior – its views are completely different to the ‘dot com mogul’ (who I don’t read anymore) and dare I say it – a lot more interesting. The first two sites I mentioned though, jeez… whilst the first one has tried to employ decent content (but why not get your own name?) the second one is a carnage of bad colour, poor content and a billboard of all the ads imaginable on the internet (and then some). If they ever manage to break 1,000 RSS Readers legitimately… I’ll eat my hat (to use the common cliché).

I hope I’ve already drilled it into you, but make sure you be unique if you want to succeed as a blogger online. If you don’t want to succeed, by all means – copy one of the big boys and go full steam ahead; don’t be surprised if you receive only a few visitors and comments.

If you like the cynical side of blogging, by all means take a look at my blog.

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Sites that Shouldn’t Exist: Chowmoney

I hate copycats. I especially hate John Chow copycats, and for a long time, I considered them to be the bottom of the blogger barrel. Then, I found this site: Chowmoney. A horrible amalgamation of John Chow and Shoemoney. Someone thinks they’re being clever with their naming conventions, but John Cow cornered that market a long time ago.

About the author

Chow Money

Truly, the stuff of nightmares. The author of this blog is a character known as Chowmoney, a man who claims that he is the illegitimate offspring of John Chow and Shoemoney. He created his blog to make it big, just like his two Dads. Claiming that he will take over the world one cent at a time, Chowmoney started his little blog…and then fell flat on his face.


It looks like this site hasn’t been updated since October. Phew, the Internet dodged a bullet there. Think of all the space this guy could have wasted. In fact, it looks like the author only wrote seven entries before getting bored and wandering off. Someone obviously didn’t think their plan through.

Parody blogs

There’s nothing wrong with a parody blog as long as it has something interesting to say. John Cow, which started out as a parody of John Chow, is now (in my opinion) a better site than its parent. While Chow talks about what he had for dinner last night, Cow talks about marketing ideas and new products. In fact, he hardly references John Chow at all anymore. That’s what I like to see: A parody site that can stand on it’s own two feet (hooves?). Maybe if Chowmoney had followed through, he could have reached that critical tipping point, but I guess we’ll never know.

Frankly, I’m relieved. I’d hate to see any other childhood pictures of the bastard offspring of Chow and Shoe.

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You Can’t Get Rich if Your Website is Offline

Let’s just say, for argument’s sake, that your website or blog constitutes a big chunk of your income. What would you do if it went offline? Maybe your hosting server is having problems, maybe the server exploded, who knows. Either way, your site is offline, and every hour that passes means lost income for you. In a situation like that, would would you do?

I noticed earlier today that one of the blogs I check daily, Uberaffiliate, was down. It is now past midnight and still offline. I’m wondering what’s going on over there, and I’m sure the owner is pretty annoyed. Luckily, he makes the vast majority of his money from his affiliate marketing schemes, not his blog, so I’m sure it’s not a huge loss for him. It got me thinking though: What about those other bloggers out there who rely on their sites to put food on their table? What would happen to John Chow if he lost his $20,000+ per month blog? More importantly, what steps do they take to avoid such a catastrophe?

If you care at all about your site, you should take steps to protect it, regardless of how much you make with it. This site makes me $0 per month, and I back it (and my entire hosting account) up weekly. When I make a huge change, such as overhauling the theme, I back it up right then and there. You should always have a backup available that’s not more than a week old. If you have any worries about your hosting provider, store your backup locally (on your hard drive) in case you server randomly breaks. If you’re overly paranoid, store it locally, on your flash drive, and burn a CD.

Speaking of randomly losing your hosting, here’s a fun story: I’ve mentioned before that I work doing webhosting support. We had a call the other day regarding some company that had their servers unplugged after they failed to pay their bills. For the company owner, that meant a loss of income. For his 2,000+ customers, that meant their websites were offline, inaccessible, and pretty much flat-out gone. I’ll bet they all wished they had kept local backups.

Always read up on your choice of webhosting companies. If you can’t find any good reviews, don’t host your site with them. Simple as that. Would you trust your livelihood with a dreamer or a dumbass? Probably not a good idea.

As for me, I see my server admin several times per week. I have is AIM, his phone number, and I know he lives within driving distance. Suffice it to say, if this site ever goes offline, it won’t be for long.

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