Tweet
Twitter. What a waste of time.
I really don’t get it. I also don’t get why people give it so much praise. Honestly, why would anybody think that Twitter is a good use of time? Are you really that interested in every little thing that I do? My life can’t be that interesting.
Well, regardless of how asinine I think it is, I’ve decided to give it a try. Everybody else seems to be doing it (peer pressure for the win!). So, yeah. Congratulations. Now you guys will have the ‘privilege’ of knowing what I’m doing, when I do it (assuming I update). If you’ve ever wanted to know when I shower, what I had for lunch, and who I’m ignoring at work, go ahead and follow my twitter…list? Blog? Thing.
I’ve got a great idea. Since it doesn’t seem to be enough to shove all of my personal information into Facebook, record my activities on my blog, and update Twitter every time I do something even mildly interesting, I propose that bloggers like me take it a step further. How about I wear a webcam on my head at all times? I can have a live feed going so you guys can see what I see. Watch me die repeatedly while playing Manhunt 2. Read along with me while I read my new steampunk novel. I can even put an old lens over the camera when I have my glasses off. You know, to give you the full experience.
But wait. You guys wouldn’t be able to see what I was doing while I was away from home. I suppose I could install more webcams in places that I frequently visit, or maybe I could carry a large external harddrive and dump the contents to my server when I get back. Think of it as Tivo-ing my life.
I’ll also be sure to wear a GPS locater and write up an interface using the Google Earth API so that you guys can know exactly where I am at all times. Maybe I’ll work in a few other features, like how fast I’m walking so that you can see how many calories I’ve burned.
I’m afraid that’s pretty much all I can do at this point. Maybe in a decade or so when mind/machine interfaces are more sophisticated, I’ll be able to upload a live stream of all of my deepest thoughts and dark secrets. At night, you could tune in to see if I was dreaming about anything interesting. Sounds cool, right? Well, you’re just going to have to wait.
Oh look, done with the blog post. Time to update my Twitter thing.
If you enjoyed this post, make sure you subscribe to my RSS feed!
